the story of a birthday …

It is 2 am and I am awake.  The dim lights barely illuminate the outline of the ceiling and the room is quiet with the exception of one sound.  I lie on my back and listen to the soft pattern of a heartbeat.  Lub-duh…lub-duh…lub-duh…lub-duh.  The sound is mesmerizing and I find myself beginning to drift into memory.  There is no sound in the world that matches this one – no other pattern of beating that can wrap itself around your body and soul the way that this one does.  As the soft, steady sound of a heartbeat continues to fill the room, I am reflecting and thinking and remembering and praying.  Every new parent feels the anxiety of the unknown – who will my child resemble, will my daughter have my eyes, will my son play sports, will I be a good mom…  But when a couple has only felt the anxiety of finally seeing a pregnancy become a birthday, the sound of a heartbeat filling the room is their entire universe.  It is this anticipation that has a pulse of its own in their lives.

To be here, in this hospital room filled with the sound of their unborn daughter’s heartbeat is everything…

For my younger brother, Jason, and his wife, Aubrie, the long wait for labor to progress seems to fit their path to parenthood.  We all say that everything will work out the way that it’s meant to – that it’s all in God’s plan – that time will reveal what is destined to be.  But sometimes those words become the anthem of a life.  And sometimes those words are the only words to cling to.  In a year of necessary blind faith — a sudden shift in career, a relocation, a list of disappointments in heath and conception attempts, a mother’s cancer, a future brother-in-law’s deployment, an abundance of confidence-breaking experiences  — it has truly been a journey that only God could prescribe.

And now, a year after the crux of the hardest part comes the amazing part…the birth of Jaycie Ann.  She took her time about it.  After being in the hospital for over 24 hours, she finally arrived at 7:19 pm on May 23.  She is beautiful and she is an amazing gift that encompasses all of the patience and hopes and dreams and faith in God’s plan.

I am posting some of their birth journey here on the blog, but look for the birth story photo compilation that I will be posting in the next couple of days.  There are no words to describe this experience – to be on the “outside” and watching the miracle of birth rather than experiencing it with my own children.  And to Jason+Aubrie+Jaycie, I say thank you.  Thank you for loving me enough to allow me to be a part of this journey with you…



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